Thoughtful

Okay, maybe i feel a bit distressed now and i hate to admit it -_-
Peoples sometimes just want to be alone and have their space to brood over.
Yes, that's the way i feel now.
Am i weird today ? Of course i'm not, it's an effing normal for teenagers like me.
Well, i just think about my flashback times when i'm in my dark side and built up my own sins and it make me felt guilty enough to did that.
I'm a girl with full of sins, and i know life was destructed me for the past.
Okay i'm not gonna discuss about my past, i had to deal with it but i can't.
Those shity things are blows up in my mind everytime, i try harder to forget about it but it doesn't work !!
My family has been very kind and understanding me but what did they get from me ?
Nothing !! Big NOTHING !
It annoys me much because of my bad attitude, or maybe in the past, not in this time.
I know, i have made my own disaster and my own mistakes, and i've being unuseful person for them.

I'd rather being alone and no one bothering me for this time.
In this loneliness i could think more hard and clearly for what should i do from now on.
Sometimes i can't face the truth if i had problems with my mom, it's really hard for me to talk about it with her.
Afraid ? Maybe yes, and absolutely i felt guilty enough !
My mom's has a bigger problems in her life than me, that's why i never want to make it more bigger because of my problem's either whether is caused by me -_-
I realized, i'm not growing up enough, i was still unstable !!
It is hard for me to move on, i just want to have my own life, my own way to walk in of this true life and i want to officially graduated from my highschool.
In highschool life, black haired and neat uniform are damnly rules !
I'm really sick and tired enough about it, dumb-ass -_-
I want to expressed and explored my passion of life even the way how can we live with our passion and get something in it (ouch that is so wow-ing)

I'm just a kid who'd still has a big question in myself.
It is about life and about this world.
How we can being someone succeed in our own life and else.
Everything's start from ZERO to HERO.
That's what my mom's told me, and i'll never forget about her sayings to me.
It worths for my life, for now, sooner or later :)
Now, i've being different, my mom's always caught me when i was blank.
She has been so worried about me, i said it's okay, i'm totally fine.
I just think harder and brood over about myself.

My life was totally cool besides the uncool words.
I know how it feels like when it ups and downs, when we faced the goods or bads.
Well, it doesn't matter for me -_- it's just terribly normal.
Drama happens and people talk like crap everywhere, that is reality.
Just go on and get up to walk away in this life, someday it would be better than we expected for.
God infinite justice, just pray to God and wish for a better life.
And don't forget to stay away from it's restriction even though it's hard for us (teeheehee :p)

Hmm, i feel so comfortable when i'm in this empty room, calm situation, no one step aside or bothering me.
It's just like i've found my OLD ME !! Regina from the past or blablabla something else and it was so WOW.
Hahahaha it is too much to expressed myself then :p
I start to burn out my cigarettes and look outside the window when the weather was so damn cold.
The rains are pouring again, it always happen everytime.
I hate rain, but i like smells of the after rain :) it smells rainy hahaha, i don't know how to describe it though :p
This fucking cigarettes has been always being my best friend's ever when i feel so lonely and got nothing to do hahaha.
My body it's not well right now, i don't know is that only suggestion or else but i know tomorrow i'll be fine.
I wont let my condition constanly sick, and i hate it.
Well guys, i don't know what i want to says of what i'm really feeling right now.
I really tired and i want to take some good sleep tonight and settle down my mind.
Hmmm, so have a good night everyone, enjoy your days and always do cherish every moment you have, okay ?
Bye bye, love you all guys :-*